Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Love Hate

I have a definite love hate relationship with running.  Sick as I was on Monday (and I don't remember much about monday...I pretty much spent from 12:30 AM until about 9PM on the recliner, sleeping), I still asked the doctor when I could resume running.  Yeah, even after my torturous run on Saturday I was concerned about running.  She kinda laughed at me running on Thursday but she cleared me to run.  Well, it's Wednesday night and I'll say pretty definitively that I will NOT be running tomorrow morning.  At this point I'm HOPING for this weekend.

And here is where the love comes in.....I reallly kinda miss running.  I did get out in the car twice today as a passenger. As I rode down the roads that I typically run I found myself thinking "I run on this road"  with a sound of nostalgic longing evident in my mental voice.   Wow...go figure.

Today I actually sat upright and tried to move around a bit more.  I feel sluggish and slow but no where near as exhausted.   The cough, rattle in my chest and the tightness in my chest has not let up though.  GRRR   And the rash...that the doctor said would respond immediately to the oral steroid regime is still kicking loud and strong.   Lucky me!

The longer this goes on, the more concerned I'm going to be about this half marathon.  I don't have much wiggle room in my training schedule.   Right now I feel I can probably still recover from this week of involuntary enforced lethargy.    We shall see.

The good news from my week of sickness???  Even with being on an oral steroid which apparently causes weight gain (water retention) I have dropped 6.4 pounds.   True pounds?  We shall see if I can maintain the through next week (or through whenever I am well again!!)

So my poor little Ethel....she has arthritis really bad in her back legs and doesn't jump up on furniture anymore....I left her up if I am around (and set her down when she wants down).  I was laying on the couch yesterday and I thought it was mertz nosing around....but before I knew little achy kitty cat had somehow crawled herself up onto the couch to be with her mommy!   I moved over to allow her to lay with me.  She was so proud of herself.   She has spent hours with me on the couch yesterday and today.  HOURS.  That first visit when she was so proud she stayed with me for 6 hours straight. (no, I didn't move either).    She does nap but overall she is a GREAT nurse!

Monday, August 31, 2015

Cough cough

Saturday's run...high noon....and I was probably hungry.   So while I completed my 6 miles (I was only scheduled for 5) it was not an easy run.  The whole run I was making comments in my head like 'what in the world do I think I'm doing'. And 'I hate running'   I don't expect them all to be easy and amazing. So I'm ok with it.  

The bad run coupled with the video that I watched of the half marathon race course (the course went on and on and on forever) sent me home and made me feel absolutely defeated and incapable of completing a half marathon.   

Luckily I spent Sunday with a friend that was in the DC area.  This is the friend that did cooper River bridge run with.  (And we are planning next year to do it again).   She was so encouraging about me doing the half marathon that I started to push aside the negativity.

All was good when I got home Sunday night.  The cough that I had been dealing with for the last two weeks was there and the rash that I had developed as there and I was tired but life was ok.   I fell into bed and was asleep my 9:30.  I woke up and life feel apart.   Exhaustion pervaded every fiber of my being.  Staying awake for more than an hour was impossible.    I ended up going to the doctor.    I'm now on oral steroids for poison ivy (which is actuly on my face, chest, legs, not sure where I picked up poison from). And the big kicker?   I have pneumonia   Yes, I actually asked when I can run again and told the doctor that I have a training run scheduled for tomorrow.  She laughed and said no running Tuesday or Wednesday but maybe Thursday if my body responds to the meds quickly and if I feel up to it.  She did say she doesn't expect me to feel up to it though.   And I did assure her that if I feel like I do today there is no way I would even contemplate running.

So the training schedule is taking a hit of a beating....but I'm not out yet!!!!!   As long as my body responds to the meds quickly and I can knock this out of my system I should be ok!!

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Slow but Mighty

The other day when I ran (Thursday) I was so proud of my run that I had made a comment to myself while I ran.  I actually even used the phrase in the blog post that I wrote later that day.   I can't get the phrase out of my mind.

Slow but Mighty

I ran those miles.  I opened up a can of Whoop Ass on those miles.   I smashed them!  I was slow but I was mighty.  My pace may not be something that will put me in the record book for running accomplishments.  But you know what?   For me, it is a MIGHTY accomplishment.  At my current weight?   It is a MIGHTY accomplishment.   Yes, it is MIGHTY!!!  I am MIGHTY.  

I came home and within a day I ran into this picture on Facebook.  

Wow, how perfect for my Strong but Mighty thoughts.   Absolutely perfect!      You see, it's so easy to get sucked into the mire of 'pace this' and 'pace that'.   But that is just a number.  (I want my pace to get better, and yes, I do keep track of my tortoise pace, but it's just a number.) The important thing is that I got out and DID it.  I put the miles on my legs.  I completed it. Slow doesn't matter.....perseverance and completion of the task is what matters!   I'm seeing daily improvements in my running.  I'm seeing myself run for longer stretches.  I see myself taking no prisoners in my running. I am improving!   And the kicker of these improvements?   I'm seeing the improvements in the midst of being sick!   How absolutely crazy is that????   What it boils down to is this.....I may not be totally happy with where I am at.  I wish I was faster.  I wish I could run further.  But I'm totally at peace and excited about where I am!!!!  

I am gearing up for my half marathon.  I am training and I'm feeling more and more confident that I can actually complete this half marathon.  I have laid out a few places that I am interested in site seeing whilst in Philly.  (Liberty Bell, US Mint, Betsy Ross House and Independence Seaport Museum) are on my short list)  I just found out that the gal that I was supposed to share a room with in Philly that weekend has backed out.   When we reserved the room, it was clearly and agreed upon a non-refundable purchase, text messages prove this point.   But as a courtesy, I am in the process of putting out some feelers to see if anyone wants to buy out her far no luck.

My eating yesterday was off the charts.....500 calories over my budget.   GRRRR  I'm going to blame it on the cookies that someone brought into work.   Yeah, it was the cookies fault!  Right?   Ok, I know that I can blame no one but myself.   I am the only one in charge of my destiny.   It is up to me to figure out how I want it to play out!

Today it is going to play out like this.  

*I am at work until noon. 

* I brought running clothes and I plan to change here and hit up the canal right after work.   I am scheduled for 5 miles.  But the easiest turn around point (without having to check my gps) is at the 3 mile point point so I am planning on a six mile run.   There are mile markers, so if I need to, I will know when I hit the 5 mile point on my run. (Where I am hopping onto the canal is at a mile marker) So if I need to stop running I can stop running and walk back to the car if need be.  That's the best I can do for a bailout option!   I am actually pretty excited about running this area today as it will be the first time since my husband and I separated that I will be running on this section of the canal.  It was a section that I ran/walked/biked quite frequently when I was married.  It will be like returning to an old friend!  I am a little worried about running at high noon.  I usually run in the mornings and very rarely in the evenings.  But this is when I have the opportunity to run 

*If the mowing has not been done by the time I get home, I will mow all of the properties.   

*  Shower and relax and dinner.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Safelite Repairs Safelite Replace

To the man in the Safelite van this morning.  Yes, you that passed a runner on May Street between The Terrace and Oak Hill......yes you, the one that flung your hand out the window to give me the thumbs up and then proceeded to yell, "You got this girl, keep going".    I thank you.    

When I was first starting to run, there was a man and his dog on the battlefield that I saw almost every time I ran.   He encouraged me everytime.  He was there the day that I completed my first ever 20 minutes straight of running.  (Yes, he just happened to be at the exact spot that I stopped running to begin my cool down.)  His simple words encouraged me and I learned to appreciate that.  At one point when I was training for the Cooper River Bridge Run (the one that I ended up walking because I hurt my foot a week or so before the run) I had a few people that randomly made encouraging comments as I ran by.  It boosted me up and made me run on.   Angels in disguise maybe.

Somewhere along the way recently, I lost sight of that.   Oh there have been some people that have made comments but I didn't 'hear' them.   Oh, my ears heard them but I was running with my then running partner (yup the same one that wouldn't run beside me but instead always ran 5 feet in front of's not wonder my running was miserable.....why did it take me so long to realize that it was unhealthy?)   and she would also grouse and growl about how 'these guys just say stuff because they can't keep there eyes off of me"  and stuff like that.  She would growl and belly ache.  I never bought into that belief but just kept my mouth shut because it was easier to let her think she was all that than try to make her realize that she was allowing blessings to pass her by.  And honestly, because I hung out with her and was surrounded by that mentality, I lost site of the beauty of those blessings.  

Mr. Safelite today reminded me.   He reminded me that comments and words of encouragement are to be treasured.  

Want to know what else Mr. Safelites words did for me?  When he yelled out at me, I was about 3/4 of a mile into my run.  I have been consistently running my first mile to mile and a half with no stops and then stopping to walk maybe once a mile from there on out for the rest of my run.   Today, after his words,  I was determined to run every step of my 3.5 miles.  I only stopped to cross roads/wait for traffic and I stopped to walk once to check my mileage.    His words spurred me on to complete a fabulous run.  A slow but might run.  And yes, I'm still suffering from this chest congestion ickiness. ......imagine what I could have done if I was feeling spectacular!!!!!

My weight.   I showed a gain of a half pound this week.  I'm not surprised.  Chinese Buffet, Pizza, free for all salad bar, free pizza delivered to work.  Yeah, I'm not surprised.  However, I know what I did and I'm planning on fixing it!    

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Me myself and I

The last couple months have been interesting. I am thinking that maybe I should refer to 2015 as the year of 'cleaning house'.  It seems as if I am eliminating things that are bad for me in my life.   As the final days of my marriage are winding down. (On paper...the marriage has been long over in reality.) I have all of a sudden sat up and started taking notice of my surroundings.  I have unfortunately said goodbye to some friends and people in my life.   One a few weeks back and another just this week.  It's not easy.  But I think it has been necessary for my well being.  I mean name is MaryFran.     Call me MaryFrances which is my complete full name.  Call me MaryFran which is what half of the world calls me.   Heck, call me MF, a bunch of people call me that.   But whatever you do, do NOT call me Mary.  My mother was adamant about that when I was young and therefore, I do not associate myself with the name Mary.  You may as well call me Susan if you are going to call me Mary.   This most recent person has been in my life for maybe 7 months or so.....and they STILL had issues with calling me MaryFran.  Really?  It's not that difficult. It's actually disrespectful to not call me by the name that I was given at birth and the name that I chose to go by.   There were some other issues, but I had to cut that tie.   It's not healthy for me.  Just like the other person's constant drama and pandering.  The people that I've gotten rid of are much more crass and abrasive.   I don't appreciate that behavior and if honestly makes me uncomfortable.  I don't need moving on.   

Yes, this has left a huge hole in my life, socially speaking.  However, I will survive.

Weirdly enough, my soon to be ex (well, he already is my ex just not legally kinda sorta...long story) has turned into a decent friend.   Really it shouldn't be all that surprising as the only thing that held our marriage together is the fact that we lived as friends and that occasionally we would go out for the day and act as friends.  No, there is no chance of a reconciliation.   I laughingly told him that someone predicted that we would end up back together and before I could finish the sentence with the words "Cold day in H....E..... Double hockey sticks"  he said "Don't take this wrong but NO.....I believe I am a person that was meant to be single and even if you begged right now I'd have to say absolutely not!"    I was actually VERY relieved to hear that as it cleared the air for our friendship to actually flourish as FRIENDS.   

So this new found freedom from people that were dragging (potentially) me down.....what is my focus.   Running.   I run.  

 Sick again today...but the schedule showed a 3.5 mile run today so by golly, I got out there and did 3.72 miles.  My run was a bit slower in about 15 seconds per mile.  But I'm ok with that.  My chest hurts, my throat hurts and the cough is just downright annoying.....and I felt horrible croaking out in my raspy voice my hello's to the gardeners and such that I ran past.    But I did it.    Here is the crazy thing?   My legs felt absolutely fine.   My breathing was regulated.   I had a pretty decent run....except for the fact that my chest and throat felt horrid.  Yes, I did stop to walk for about 30 -60 seconds, three times.  Just needed to walk a bit to ease up the tight feeling in my chest.  (the tightness of the sickness increases when I run).   Regardless.....I ran....SICK!

My weight.....that is another thing that I plan on focusing on.  

 Right now I have a big GRRRRRR   I haven't weighed myself since Friday morning.  Friday night I went to a Chinese Buffet.......Not the greatest of choices I know.   Saturday evening I went to Cafe Italia (Hagerstown, MD) with my parents and their friend Kathy.  I was planning on ordering a grilled chicken salad.  Really, I was.  Until the three guys beside our table ordered one of the HUGE pizza's and it drew my attention.  So of course I switched to a pizza.  SOOOO yummy.   (Technically I wasn't over my calories as I had run 4.3 miles that morning...but well....we know me and what happens when I eat my exercise calories....I either gain or if I'm lucky, I maintain.)   Sunday I went out geocaching and ended up eating at Hoss's Steakhouse.  I got the salad bar......and ate mostly salad.....with macaroni salad on the said. (yeah, call me weird but one of their french dressings tastes FABULOUS on top of the macaroni salad).   I had two plates of salad.....a bowl of soup and two different small pieces of dessert.  I had three on my plate......the third only tasted mediocre so I didn't eat more than the first nibble....VICTORY.   

So three days of eating.....not exactly on point.  And my weight was up.   and I'm back at the low end of that that stupid 5 pound range that I have struggled to get out of.    

I will leave you with a giggle about my morning run today.

My dad usually walks in the morning and once or twice I have seen him as much of the time our walks/run overlap.   Today was not one of those days.  When I got home, the first words out of my mom's mouth was "Did you see your dad today while you were out running?"    I honestly answered with a negative and then watched as mom burst out laughing hysterically.   According to mom, my father had been walking and he saw me in the he called out hello.....once or twice.   And the poor girl looked at him and took off running.   It wasn't dad freaked out some poor innocent girl.   (the story may have  been embellished a bit by my mother....I will have to check with daddio when I get home tonight....although he has texted me and said "PLEASE tell me that was you on such and such road this morning at about 7:30"  Ha ha ha.....

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Neither Rain, Sleet, snow.....

Or what feels like an elephant sitting on my chest will keep me from my run!

Yes, I am still feeling icky.  I woke up this morning and knew that I had a run scheduled for some point this weekend.  Once again I didn't feel totally well...and actually felt another step worse than yesterday. SO, I decided to go today.  Get it done and out of the way in case I am feeling even worse tomorrow (God forbid).  

I got to talking with my dad before heading out and got to laughing.  Laughing made me cough.  Coughing made me gag.  Gagging made my father laugh.   Which made him cough.  Which made me laugh.  Which made me gag.  Vicious cycle!  I had to step away to gather myself and within a few minutes, with my stomach still feeling weird from gagging, I headed out.  (I knew that the gagging was a result of laughing and I knew that I don't normally laugh on my runs so I should be fine!)

I set out with some trepidation and actually wondering if I could make it. I was determined to give it my best shot.

And I did it.  I completed my miles.  I actually probably walked less than I have in my most recent runs.  My first walk didn't hit until almost the 2 mile mark...and was only 30-60 seconds.  From that point on, I walked maybe every 3/4 of a mile for roughly 30 seconds each time.   I determined to run to a certain point and I did.......and when I looked at my tracker......Wooo must have paused when I went to put it in my run buddy pouch.  It didn't track my run at all!   Luckily for me, it showed me when I had started it and paused it I knew how long I had been running.....and I had decided to run the exact same route as last Sunday!    So I was still able to get my stats.....and happily I can say that even sick, I ran it faster than last week!

I was a bit nervous because I had Chinese (Buffet too...arrgghh) for dinner last night.   I wasn't sure how that was going to affect my weight.  But I am happy to say that my weight remained the same from yesterday to today.   I am making sure I drink lots of water so that I don't have any residual weight gain...but right now I'm feeling pretty good about my weight loss efforts.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

15 calories....they would add up pretty quickly!!!

Today was supposed to be a rest day.  But I know that my Thursday and Fridays I have planned them to be a bit interchangeable.  Thursday runs are difficult because I am tired.  It's the end of my work week.  It's the end of a few days straight of some vigorous exercise.   Fridays make more sense to run for that reason.  Schedule wise it actually kind of makes more sense to run on Thursdays.  However  I planned Fridays based on the needs of my bodym thus allowing myself the wiggle room to push off Thursdays run to Friday if need be and it won't 'affect' my schedule.  Yeah, if I'm scheduled to run Thursday and I don't do it, I know me.  I'll be down on myself because 'I was scheduled and I didn't do it'.  This way I have the wiggle room on the days that I knew would be most difficult for me.  (Sundays is my long run day.....Saturdays are hit or miss so I made it on Sundays.  If I get the log run in on Saturday, awesome.  If not, and I do it on Sunday then I'm right on Schedule!)  Yeah, it's a mind game...but that's all good.

So let me back up a bit before I go on with my 'supposed' rest day.    A week or two ago my nephew came down sick.  My other nephew followed a few days later and it's been like slow falling dominos since then.  And it's not a 'sick and then well'  it seems to be a sick and linger and then just when you think life is grand again reoccurring ickiness.    I had hoped and prayed that I would not succumb.  NO WAY!   I don't have time for that stuff!  I have a life to lead.  I have a half marathon to train for.  I have plans!    

And of course here is a picture of the culprits and carriers of the dreaded bug! 

Well, on Tuesday afternoon I started noticing a tickle in my throat/chest that caused me to cough.  A dry cough that emphasized the tightness in my chest.   I rolled with it.  I hoped for the best.   Wednesday it was a bit more regular but I still went to zumba.   I actually made it through the class and really didn't have many issues.  I noticed the tightness in my chest but it wasn't bad enough to make me stop.    This morning (Thursday) I woke up and boy was my chest tight. The cough was there and my voice was DEEP.  Yeah, this was not looking good.  I

I laid in bed for a bit and then decided.....lets get this 3 mile run over with today.  I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow and I'd rather do it today and be done just in case.  And if I feel fabulous tomorrow.....well then the run is done anyway and I can enjoy my early afternoon off of work without the specter of a run marring the afternoon.  So out I went.

I did surprisingly well.  A few times I felt as if I couldn't get a deep enough breath of air, but nothing major. (ha ha ha as if breathing isn't major!)  The last half mile or so my chest was HURTING.  Hurting as in my first thought was, "Holy cow, I'm having a heart attack"  until I remember that my chest had been tight and I just ran 3 miles.     My time?   I am proud to say that the run portion of my run this morning was only 1 second slower per mile than my run portion from Tuesday.  not bad.  

Yes, my pace is showing on the pic a lot slower because I had already started my cool down walk and I was getting my picture so I could calculate my running pace. I do NOT run at a 20 minute pace!  

So I got home, had a piece of toast, packed my lunch, showered and I headed out to work. I decided to stop at a pharmacy to pick up some medication. No, I don't need medication at this point.  But I decided to douse this cold with some Vitamin C.  So I picked up some Airborne type medicine. (ok, I'm cheap and bought the store brand, which we all know is usually made by the same company)  and some cough drops in case the coughing starts to annoy me.  Yes, I know I should have been doing the Airborne stuff since they first got sick and not wait until I showed the first signs...but this is how I roll!   

Don't be a hater.....I wanted the yummy tasting cough drops!  

Drat at 15 calories a cough I have to count them if I succumb to the pressure/need to use them???