Monday, February 08, 2016

All things happy.....except for one

Well......I had a few victories today.

The first is kinda not a victory but kinda a victory.   I have a few pairs of varying sizes.  What size am I?   I have some 18's that are falling off of me (who knows if the zipper works anymore, I don't unzip them but rather just pull them off)  but I also have 18's that are skin tight.  I have 16 womens that fit perfectly.  Really?   So I decided that after work I was going to hit up the outlets.  I was looking for a pair of water repelling/quick dry pants to wear whilst hiking. (I am SOO tired of being wet while I'm hiking!)   I first went into Eddie Bauer.   I tried some on and I liked them...but I wanted to hit up another store or two...specifically Columbia Sportswear.   I ended up buying the ones at Eddie Bauer.  They were a bit pricier than the Columbia ones that I tried on...but they fit me better and had more features.   So what in the world is the victory?   They are tight, but I can TOTALLY fit into the 16's.   Weeee.    Moving along.  (and yes, I know....if I lose 'too' much weight the pants I bought today will be too big and baggy to really wear...I bought them as tight as I felt comfortable with wearing!)

But the even bigger victory?   Today was the Chinese New Year.  Big whoop right??   Nope...they decided to order Chinese for lunch.  They typically order from one place.....and I don't like that place.  But they ordered from the place that I actually LOVE.   I had my lunch packed and I was ok with the food I had with me to eat.  But that place is SOOO good and I haven't had it in a long time.  I wrote my order down on the order sheet and went to count my money to give to the gal that was going to pick up our food.  Yup....I caved.   But then I started thinking about money.  I am trying to put money aside......and even more importantly....I didn't want to kill my calorie count for today.   SOOOOOOO...I went over and scratched my order off the list.

Yes, I did!

Lets see if this helps me show a bit of a loss for this weeks official weigh in!  One can hope!

So my ankle has been bothering me a bit more today.  This is FRUSTRATING.  I do have it wrapped maybe that will help matters a bit!!!!   Frustrating is all I can say about it though!

Sunday, February 07, 2016

Mud bogging

Well here we are, the weekend is rolling to a close.  Again.    Seriously, this really needs to stop happening!  At least I can say that I had a wonderful weekend!  How could it NOT be fabulous....I got to see friends....I got to spend a lot of time with Jason...and I got some hiking in!!!    Lets start with the friends........(not that Jason isn't a friend...but he's a bit more than a friend ha ha ha)

On Saturday morning I had the opportunity to meet up with some friends (gals that I used to work with).  I've got 19-20 years on these girls but we had a wonderful time!    We laughed.  We covered some important topics of conversation (Someone needs to give these girls some advice!!!  ha ha ha), we had breakfast together  and we hit up some stores and did a bit of shopping!   It was just what the doctor ordered and it's amazing how things like this works.  The one gal showed up and we could see that she was just not herself.   By the end of the first hour we could see that the conversation and girl talk had helped her. That's what friends are for! We did shop a little so I got some walking in at the mall....not enough to really count though, even though I'm really tempted to do so!!!!  See, if I do that, I could possibly say that I counter acted the Cinnamon Supreme Sweet and Stuffed Pancakes.  Seriously, I am embarrassed to say that I ordered those things!   They were tasty...but all sweet and totally NOT healthy!   I'm not even going to write down the calorie count....isn't it enough that I put the link in there??  ha ha ha.    The only good thing?  I was soooo full and just not at all hungry the rest of the day that I ate some cheese, some strawberries and a hard pretzel in the evening and I was not hungry the rest of the day.  And yes...I heeded the voices that my body was saying...and that was 'For heavens sake, please don't eat!'

Yeah yeah is obvious in the picture, I was drinking diet soda.....I know, it SHOULD have been water!!!!

Jason and I got to spend a fair amount of time together this weekend.  Lots of time relaxing together in nice warm and relaxing places where we could have long conversations.  But we were also able to get two hikes in.

The first hike was at the Martins Mill Bridge and around the park.  We stayed off the hilly trails and walked the road from the bridge down to the actual park area and circled that snow covered area and then went back to the bridge.  We did that loop a few times until the wind knocked us for a loop and we were too cold to continue.  (ok, until we decided to retreat to the car and the warmth.....I"m sure we could have continued if we had wanted to...but 2.56 miles isn't bad!  It wasn't a bad walk...there were areas that were a bit snow but nothing too intense.

We also decided to hike at Balls Bluff Battlefield/Regional park.     Last weekend was the event of the Snow hike...this weekend we had another snow hike but I think I will refer to it as Mud Bogging instead!   The trails there were a LOT more intense.  Yes, there was a lot more ascents and decents on the trail.  But it was the snow that made those up hill intense....snow is slippery...and going up and down a trail on slippery snow is interesting to say the least. (especially the parts of the trail that were on the edge of a drop off!)  The snow was actually NOT the worst part.  The worst part....when we were NOT climbing up or descending a hill, we were walking on the flat riverbank.  That sounds peaceful and serene doesn't it?   Yeah....not when that said river was at flood stage a few days ago.    Walking through a couple inches of mud is.....interesting, fun and DIFFICULT!  Totally different muscles than normal hiking and different muscles than snow hills.   It was  a GREAT workout!     I didn't get any pictures from the trail...but I did get a few pictures of the National Cemetery that is housed in this park and the sight of a Civil War Battle.  This is one of the smallest National Cemeteries in the United States.  It has 25 graves and there are 54 men buried here, all of them unknown but one.  Sobering to think that 53 families (so many more in the Civil war overall I know)  lost sons who were buried with an unknown gravemarker.  All in all.....3.68 miles at Balls Bluff Park!

So a good weekend with some activity's 7:30.  I'm home.  Showered up (I wasn't exactly cold but I wasn't exactly warm....and I wasn't exactly muddy but I wasn't exactly clean!) and sitting here watching tv.  Nope....not watching the Super Bowl...does that make me un-American?????

Thursday, February 04, 2016

Check In

Be careful what you wish for. In yesterdays post I talked about wanting to break the bad habit of getting home at 8 or 9 and crawling right into bed.   I broke that habit.   I was out with Jason last night and while I was out I received a message that some artwork was waiting for me.  I am designing a new album cover for a guy.  That means that when I got home I had a few hours of work...because I had NOTHING.  I was starting from scratch.    I actually made it to bed about midnight.  I sent the ideas to the client, sent him a text to let him to know to look and went to bed. He was working an overnight shift at his by the time I woke up at 5:30 he had revisions in my email box.  I worked from 5:30 until 7:30, showered and headed to the store before work.   By the time I got to work there were some more revisions.  This guy moves FAST.  (He has told me not to worry about getting things done immediately...but he is appreciative that I am moving this way)  The last CD I did I would make revisions and not hear anything back for DAYS...weeks even.

So I guess circumstances helped me break that habit last night.  Who knows what will help me tonight.   Although I should be home after work tonight so I won't be getting home so close to bedtime making the bed more tempting!  

That said....I skipped my morning run as I was working on this project. (hey, I just put brakes and rotors on my car....the income from this project will help immensely in covering that repair!)

My eating last night...well not the greatest.    Today thus on!!!!! 

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Weekly Weigh In

Well, today was my official weigh in.   232.4  So I am down a bit from last week.   Precious little....but I'll take it.  One week left of this Love Bites Challenge.  Right now I am showing down 1.6 pounds in this challenge (I was 234 at the beginning of this/end of the last challenge).  That's better than nothing and WAY better than a gain.

  There is NO WAY that I will make my goal of 220.0 by next Wednesday.  I'm OK with that.  I'm not HAPPY with myself, but I'm ok with it.   I'm thinking that it would be a victory if I can somehow pull out a 230.0 for this weigh me a 4 pound loss...and 2.4 pounds in this next week (which is doable.)  Either way...I'm fine with whatever happens this week as long as I actually work toward the goal!

Yesterday I went to the gym and ran just shy of 3 miles.  My foot didn't fair well on that run.  In fairness, it was bothering me before I began.  I know that after the snow hike on Sunday that it was tender, so I'm assuming that the icky feeling after the run yesterday was because of that.    Honestly, the snowy hike is motivating me.   I as pleasantly surprised to realize that yes I was moving my body and it was a workout but I was not sore and achy from using the muscles.  Yay me!  I was with an avid hiker and ended up feeling better when it was over.  (go figure)   So in terms of physical wellness, I know that my running and zumba (we won't even talk about me losing that....but I do have to hit up a class at the gym soon!) have kept me in somewhat decent shape.  I don't want to lose that and would actually prefer to build upon that.  But once again, it comes down to gear.   I was wearing jeans to hike in the snow....not the wisest hiking clothing.  My pants were soaked up to my thighs.  My companion was wearing hiking water resistant/quick drying pants and he was dry as all get out.  Guess I need to invest in something similar for use in hiking if I plan on doing it much more.  (I also have had some similar issues with sweat...jeans just soak up the sweat and become nasty  and wet!)   And that is the crux of the matter.  They are not cheap.....and  I hate to spend the money on pants that I HOPE to have shrunk out of within a few months!   Yes....we talked about it on Sunday and I will buy them on the tight side so that I can just have a baggy pair that is still usable.  But still.....I'm on the cusp of being able to buy these pants at a 'regular store' would be NICE to be able to buy them at a 'regular' store and maybe to be able to not have to replace them in a few months. (Although that will make some person that shops at my local goodwill a happy camper when I drop off a bag of clothes that are too big for me!!!)    Talk about motivation?

I was able to maintain a good balance in my eating yesterday.  I was proud of myself.  I knew that I would be having cake and ice cream last night to celebrate my niece and nephews birthdays so I ate accordingly throughout the day.  And guess what? I kept my calories not exactly spot on...but really close!   One day of success under my belt.  Next day coming up!    I will work to build upon this success!!!

Meanwhile, I have to break a really bad habit.   What is that bad habit?  Last night I got home at 8:30 and instead of settling in and actually DOING something; I have instead put on my pajamas and headed to bed.  I don't go to sleep immediately....I lay in bed and read or play mindless games on my ipad.   I think part of it is because it's cold outside (cool in the basement where I reside) and it just makes more sense to curl up under the blankets and get toasty warm there versus settle in on the chair or couch...get warm there and then have to move to the cold bed.   But it's KILLING my time.   What could I be doing?   Anything really.   I could be playing the piano, surfing the internet, writing, watching tv, something productive!!!!   I could be exercising!   I have a ton of videos!  

We shall see!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

Purchased Peace

I was reading a blog post about intuitive eatingthe other day.   The author was talking about the correlation between intuitive eating and weight loss and wanting to make peace with food.  I wrote my response to her post...a really convoluted affair for sure.  I know that intuitive eating works for some people.  I also know that intuitive eating is the goal that I want to be at when I reach my goal weight.  I will say that for me intuitive eating HAS to go hand in hand with some kind of check and balance system in place. (the numbers on the scales....a pair of skinny jeans that HAVE to fit otherwise there becomes a full out panic attack, etc) . 

For me intuitive eating and losing weight doesn't go hand in hand at this time.  I'm ok with that.  I'm still overweight so obviously there is something that isn't clicking in the brain and body.   This is fine with me.

But peace with my food.  Wow...there is the kicker.  I've often talked on my blog about missing the innocence of eating.  The innocence of not worrying about calories, fat, carbs or any number of other things.    And that is when I realized that I CAN have peace with my food.    I simply have to Purchase Peace!  

How do you purchase peace?    For me I purchase peace by earning the food through exercise.   Oh yes, my hike through deep snow the other day...that purchased me peace with what I chose to eat for dinner!   A good run in the morning gives me peace with my food for the day.   (I can still go way off track and ruin that peace...but I'm just  generally speaking here!)

My brother rides his bike...A LOT (crazy insane amounts of miles) and I've heard him on more than one occasion say "I can eat whatever I want because I rode 50, 60 or whatever miles today"   It's not that he is overindulging, he earned those calories.....he earned the peace.  The peace was purchased via those miles on his bike!

As soon as I read that first post about intuitive eating and peace my mind was formulating this post.  But first I wanted to catch up with my other blogs.  And I came upon Shelley's blog and it was just more 'peace'

She was writing an update on how she was doing with making better choices which was a goal that she had made for this year.  I read along and then came to a paragraph about the snacks and tasty treats at a bakery that they visit after running and how she doesn't count those tasty morsels when she is talking about making better choices....and she said this..  "those are bonus treats that come with running"    Ohhhhhh, so can I just go out on a limb and say that she "purchased peace" with a nice run?????

Yes, purchased peace is awesome...and let me tell you.  The food that you eat when you 'purchase the peace' tastes FANTASTIC!

I did make it to the gym this morning...and I 'purchased a bit of peace' with a few miles of running.   I will still have to be careful today, but if I am, I can enjoy ice cream and cake tonight to help celebrate my niece and nephews birthday!!!

I faced the scales this morning....almost the same as last week...and almost the same as right around Christmas...the beginning of the love bites challenge.  Not what I wanted but at least no gain!   I've got one week to show at least a teensy weensie little loss for the challenge!!

Monday, February 01, 2016

Trust your gear

Well, what do I say?    January was a trial run?????

I had grand plans for my Love Bites self challenge has not gone as planned.  Not at all.   In fairness, I haven't weighed myself since last Wednesday, but I can honestly say that I have NOT eaten right.  Ohhhhh  some days were not THAT bad.  Some days were positively horrible with french fries, tator tots, and all sorts of other fattening (but sadly tasty) foods.  Oh and there may have been a donut or two involved in the mix.  Yeah, I just fell off the rails!   

I have a week and two days until the Love Bites challenge is over.   My goal at this point is to try to hang onto the weight that I was at the end of the Saving Christmas Challenge.  My weight last week was right in that hopefully it will be a simple maintain.  

What does that mean for me?  

I'm already gearing up for the Foolish Fat Against Fat challenge.    On February 10th, the last weigh in before Valentines day will start this next challenge.  7 weeks until April Fools.  The Triple F challenge.  I blew this last challenge but I'm soooo planning on rocking this one!  7 pounds...14 pounds is what I'm thinking!!!!

I had a busy and fun weekend.  I sadly had to work on Saturday morning, but was treated to a gorgeous sky on the way to work!

Jason and I spent some time in Old Town Winchester (Virginia) this weekend.

We did some hiking at the Third Winchester Battlefield Park.   That was interesting as in some areas we were walking on slick ever shifting slush and at at other points we were walking in 1-2 feet of snow.  It was definitely a workout!!!!  

It is also crazy to be hiking in 1-2 feet of snow and be stripping off clothes because you are hot.....I started the hike with a tee shirt, sweatshirt and a light jacket.  By the first mile or so I had taken off the jacket...and by the end of the hike I was down to the tee shirt.  Nope, definitely wasn't going to let myself get sweaty!   That is miserable in cooler weather!!!!   And yes, I was more successful than a few weeks ago when we had been out hiking  and it was either REALLY cold or just cool.  No soon as I got back to the car, I popped my sweatshirt back on to avoid getting chilled as my body temperature adjusted back to normal. I will also say that I gave my newest pair of hiking boots an amazing test and they passed with flying colors.  What test was that?  Well, I've had them out a few times as we have been hiking...and they have been through some muddy areas and some water puddles.   But that was more short periods of being dipped into wetness.  We hiked a few miles (my tracker showed about 4 miles) and for 90% of that time, my boots  were totally encased in snow.  My feet were dry and toasty the whole time!  (shows the beauty of good boots and wool socks!).  My pants.....well, I was wearing jeans which are notoriously horrible for hiking and they were a flared leg....and long.  They were wet at the bottom almost immediately and they just wicked the moisture upward the whole hike so that even though I had never been in snow up to my thighs, the jeans were wet above the knees.  We laughed that if we had hiked longer that they would have been wet the whole way to my waist!!!   (Yup, just add the parking lot at the trailhead for the Third Winchester as ANOTHER place that I've changed my clothes in a relatively public place...hahaha)  

We slowly made our way back home and ended up stopping at a few places just killing time and being together for longer!  

It was a good weekend.....and the icing on the cake?  We were active and it felt GOOD to get outside in the sunshine and surprising warmth!

Friday, January 29, 2016

No Brainer

It was dark.  It was cold.   There was frost on my windshield.  It was early!  

I laid in bed going back and forth.  Go to the gym?  Stay home in my comfy cozy bed?  Guilt over signing up for a more closer albeit expensive ($10 more a the start up fee) gym pulled me from my bed.   Yes, I went to the gym this morning.

I wasn't there any great length of time.  I went to use the treadmill.  I went to put in a few miles on my legs.  I didn't have grand plans to push it really far or hard.  I want to ease back into running.   By about mile two, my foot was starting to make it's presence known....not really painful, just aware.  I'm going to look at that as a victory as a few weeks ago I could only make it through the first mile before I became aware of my foot issue!

Don't cheer too much.  It was a brutal run.  It was more a run a half mile and then walk a half mile.  Treadmill running is for the pits and I always struggle to keep running the whole time!  Regardless of the walk run dealio, I am happy with what I did.

As I was doing my thing on the treadmill at the crack of dawn this morning, I had the thought.    I want to lose this weight.  I want it down to the core of my being.  Yet I struggled to get to the gym.   Really?   What do I expect?   Do I expect the weight to melt off  if I take a steamy hot shower?   Do I expect the weight to disappear while I'm sleeping?   Do I expect to lose weight while I'm shoveling movie theater popcorn that is smothered in butter into my mouth?    WHY?   Why do I insist on these bad habits and fight the good habits?   I know they are NOT what I need to be doing to get to my goals.....yet I resist!  

Seems kind of dumb to me!

I can't expect different results if I don't change my habits!  So the question really comes into play.....what is more important to me?  The results or the stupid habits that are slowly killing me?

Lets break this down......

The stupid habits....
** laying in bed and doing nothing versus going to the gym
**eating fattening food that tastes good 

**being able to run without stopping
**cool clothes
**thin svelte body (or as thin as it's going to be)
**being able to hike, ride roller coasters, go sky diving, or whatever my heart desires without the fears and constraints of being overweight....the sky is the limit, not my weight
**not feeling sick, stuffed and bloated from the foods I eat

Seems such a no brainer to me!

Today is a new day!!!!!!